Vanessa’s testimony

3 Jun

“I came from a Catholic background. Although I knew the biblical stories and I believed in God, I didn’t really know Him. I didn’t understand what it was to have a relationship with God. And I had no idea what it really meant to be not only a believer, but also a follower of Jesus.

I found myself living a self-directed life – it was always all about me. I thought I’d been living a good life and understood what true happiness was. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

There was something missing. On a surface level, my life seemed to be complete, but deep down there was an emptiness that nothing of this world could fill. I didn’t realise that void was something only God could fill.

Last year, I messed up my life so much so that I really started hating myself. All the worldly things and relationships I’d built up collapsed. All that was left was a heavy feeling of guilt and shame. And I felt so alone. I’d pushed my close friends and family so far away that the ones who I thought would always be there, were now in the far distance. And I wouldn’t have blamed them either. I wanted to come to God but I felt too terrible to even confront Him in prayer. I knew my sin was separating me from God who is perfect and holy. I became quite sick and was bed-ridden for a week. It was then, after much thought, reflection and reading of the Bible that I realised how much I actually needed God in my life. But I really didn’t think He would still love me. I felt so unworthy. In my repentance instead of giving me the punishment I deserved, I received an undeserving gift of grace from God and for that I will be forever grateful.

I truly experienced God’s grace following SCUC YG camp last year. Camp was a big turning point, spiritually, for me. I was afraid to go initially because I really didn’t know anyone very well, I was still in a fragile and upset state, plus I was really unsure of spending an entire weekend with God. It began with camp and really hit home following the second lesson of the Christianity Explained course that I came to really understand the significance of what Jesus did on the cross. God loved us all so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our transgressions past, present and future; as an atoning sacrifice for all our sins. Jesus paid the ultimate price. He died in my place so that I, a sinner, can come before God and have a relationship with Him. It is through Christ alone that I have found a way to God.

I never thought that I would be who I am today, let alone even have the relationship and fellowship I experience with God now. I feel so privileged to be a child of God; to be able to work alongside Him in undertaking the good works He has already planned for me to do, and most importantly to be a vessel for His light, love and Gospel. When I look back I realise God has always been at work in my life; everything that has happened to me, whether good or bad, was no coincidence. God has now given my life meaning and purpose. I am excited to continue to grow in Christ and spiritual maturity and to see what God will do in my life. My heart has finally found its rest, peace and joy in Christ alone. Life with Jesus is worth living for! I pray that by God’s grace I will be a blessing to others and be able to bring them to know Christ.”

Vanessa Li

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